Why Starwars and Musicals don't mix
by Logan Avery
Summary: Basically what happens when I combine two of my favorite productions. Rating is T for certain language that will appear later in the story. Also for certain themes.
1. Introduction

Cast List

Elphaba: Aayla Secura

Glinda/Galinda: Padmé Amidala

Madame Morrible: Shaak Ti

Fiyero: Quinlan Vos

Dr. Dillamond: Obi-Wan Kenobi

The Wizard: Mace Windu

Nessarose: Stass Allie

Boq: Anakin Skywalker

Monkeys, Students, Denizens of the Emerald City, Palace Guards, and Other Citizens of Oz: Everyone who wasn't put in a major role.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked, Starwars, or Avenue Q. I am not associated with them in any way shape or form except for being a huge fan. Anything mentioned in here I do not own except myself, also my brother owns himself. I would also like to thank Bubblewrap-queen for the inspiration for this story.

Timeline: Somewhere between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.

Introduction- Parts are handed out, practice begins and Anakin throws a mini-tantrum.

Jarik: First off my name is Grant but I decided to Starwarsify my name a little. Now before we begin I don't care if you don't like my choice of people for the cast if you don't like anyone then just make your own story.

A briefing room in the Jedi Temple. From inside there are whispers of what the meeting is going to be about.

Jarik: Ok listen up everyone Chancellor Palpatine has paid me to get all of you to do a musical.

Obi-Wan: He paid you to do what to us and why?

Jarik: He paid me indicates to self while saying it slowly to get everyone in here to do a musical and it was something about getting everyone to work as a team.

Everyone: Muttering about how they want to be here.

Jarik: I thought you'd disagree so that's why I've got blackmail on all of you which could jeopardize your positions.

Anakin: Pft ya right you've got blackmail on...

Jarik: Interrupting Anakin coming from the guy who has a crush on a certain...

Anakin: Ok ok you win.

Jarik: Smiles evilly Good now once I announce which part you will be doing I will give you a script and you will exit the room to the stage.

Padmé: Excuse me ummmmm Jarik you didn't tell us which musical we are doing. Also there's no stage in the Jedi Temple.

Jarik: Glares Well I was about to get into all that, but I was rudely interrupted. We are doing the most amazing, spectacular, winner of 9 Tony awards, Wicked. *Applause in the background* Also there is a stage that was put in while you all were put in here.

Everyone: *Blank stares* What is a Tony?

Jarik: You've got to be kidding me. Ok deep breath. A Tony in a nutshell is a prestigious award given in theatre. Now for part distribution playing Galinda/Glinda will be played by Padmé and Elphaba will be played by Aayla Secura.

The two women get up, get their scripts, and exit through the door. "Wow there is a stage." comes an exclamation.

Jarik: Told you. Now continuing on Fiyero will be played by Quinlan Vos, Madame Morrible will be played by Shakk Ti, and the Wizard will be played by Mace Windu.

The three mentioned Jedi get up and grab their scripts.

Quinlan: You put me in the brainless prince who basically hits on every girl and loves to party role?

Jarik: Nods more or less, but that's because you're the only guy I think is right for the part.

Mace: And I'm playing the fake.

Jarik: Only because a black guy goes great in that part.

Suddenly another kid walks in drinking a milkshake and pushes a button which causes "Everyone's a little bit racist" to start playing.

Jarik: Face palm Everyone this is my twin brother Seth he will be here to help with the play and he is one the head techies. The other one will show up later.

Mace: Another question, What's a techie?

Seth: A techie is someone who works backstage to make sure the play runs smoothly. We also take care of the lighting and make sure you idiot actors don't do anything stupid. Also you guys have to listen to us or we'll quit and you'll be left with no show.

Jarik: That sums up what a techie is.

Quinlan, Shaak Ti and Mace leave to the stage while flipping through the script.

Jarik: Ok now where were we ah yes. Dr. Dillamond will be played by Obi-Wan Kenobi, Nessarose or Nessa will be played by Stass Allie and finally Boq will be played by Anakin Skywalker. That means everyone else gets a chorus part.

Everyone else: Groans, but accept their fate and take their scripts.

Anakin: You put me down as the lowest part, but why I'm the Chosen One. You can't do that, the Chancellor will make you give me a better part. Goes into a rage about how he deserves a bigger part.

Jarik: You done your majesty. Now listen here you little spoiled brat I don't want you messing up this play got it. I don't care what the high and mighty Chancellor says you want to know why, because I'm the director and what I say goes...

Random Jedi: But Seth said that the Techies were in charge.

Jarik: That's only semi-true. Now where was I.... Oh yes if you don't man up and take this part I'll down grade you to the chorus; No offense you guys actually have one of the most important parts; and get someone else to play it. Do I make myself clear.

Anakin: Walks off grumbling about how he'll get a larger part even if it's the last thing he does.

Jarik: That guy's going to be the death of me.

Obi-Wan: Copyright infringement!!!

Jarik: No, I state at the beginning that I don't own Starwars in any way, shape, or form. So there for I'm allowed to say it, even though you coined that phrase. Now does anyone have any questions.

Aayla: Yes it says I'm supposed to be green, but I'm blue how are we going to fix that.

Jarik: We'll fix that once the show comes around. Anyone else?

Just about everyone: What is the point of Wicked

Jarik: Wicked attempts to explain the mysteries in the Wizard of Oz. It takes place at the end of the Wizard of Oz with the Oziens celebrating the death of the Wicked Witch of the West. Then it flashes back to when Elphaba and Galinda were at school then goes forward from there. Most of the songs help the play along and give a general idea of what is happening at the time. We will also be adding in the lines that I like for this rehearsal and kicking the rest out. Now we shall begin the play.

OOC: Basically this is the intro. I will be adding others later. Hopefully you all like this and will comment. As Jarik/Me said I will be adding lines in that make the play amazing. I will be adding random stuff in also and Seth will randomly have songs play.


	2. No One Mourns the Wicked

**Cast List**

**Elphaba: Aayla Secura**

**Glinda/Galinda: Padmé Amidala**

**Madame Morrible: Shaak Ti**

**Fiyero: Quinlan Vos**

**Dr. Dillamond: Obi-Wan Kenobi**

**The Wizard: Mace Windu**

**Nessarose: Stass Allie**

**Boq: Anakin Skywalker**

**Monkeys, Students, Denizens of the Emerald City, Palace Guards, and Other Citizens of Oz: Everyone who wasn't put in a major role.**

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked, Starwars, or Avenue Q. I am not associated with them in any way shape or form except for being a huge fan. Anything mentioned in here I do not own except myself, also my brother owns himself. I would also like to thank Bubblewrap-queen for the inspiration for this story._

_Timeline: Somewhere between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith._

_A/N: I do have the characters do little side comments here and there and if I don't clearly put something like Obi-Wan or Random person the usually they are in ITALICS next to the lyrics of the song. Also I recommend you listen to most of the songs as you read them. _

_**Spoiler Alert: If you are planning on seeing Wicked or wish to keep that a secret please DON'T READ any further. **_

**Act One, Scene One: In which the opening song is sung. Anakin's great idea get foiled and there are a few interruptions and people start saying little side comments. **

**No One Mourns the Wicked**

**Citizens of Oz**:

Good news! She's dead!

The Witch of the West is dead!

The wickedest witch there ever was

The enemy of all of us here in Oz

Is dead!

Good news!

Good news!

**Someone in the crowd:**

(spoken) Look! It's Glinda! _Well actually it's Padmé. _

**Padmé**** as ****Glinda:**

It's good to see me, isn't it? (Ozians Agree) No need to respond that was rhetorical.

(spoken) Fellow Ozians:

(sung) Let us be glad

Let us be grateful

Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue _Rejoicify isn't even a word._

The wicked workings of you-know-who _Are we talking about the Sith. _

Isn't it nice to know

That good will conquer evil?

The truth we all believe'll by and by

Outlive a lie

For you and -

**Ozian:**

Glinda! Exactly how dead is she? _Who are we referring to here???_

**Jarik**: The Wicked Witch of the West Elphaba. Now continue on with it.

**Padmé as Glinda:**

Well, there has been much rumor and speculation... innuendo, outuendo... but let me set the record straight. According to the Time Dragon Clock, the melting occurred at the 13th hour; a direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead!

**Someone in the crowd:**

No one mourns the Wicked

**Another person:**

No one cries "They won't return!"

**Ozians:**

No one lays a lily on their grave!

**Ozian Man:**

The good man scorns the Wicked!

**Ozian Women:**

Through their lives our children learn!

**Ozians:**

What we miss when we misbehave!

**Padmé as Glinda:**

And goodness knows

The Wickeds' lives are lonely

Goodness knows

The Wicked die alone

It just shows when you're Wicked

You're left only

On your own

**Ozians:**

Yes, goodness knows

The Wickeds' lives are lonely

Goodness knows

The Wicked cry alone

Nothing grows for the Wicked

They reap only

What they've sewn

**Random person who didn't get a main role: **We refer to the wicked a lot.

**Jarik: **No duh, now no more interruptions.

**Ozian:**

Glinda, why does wickedness happen? _What type of idiotic question is that._

**Padmé as Glinda:**

That's a good question; one that many people find confusifying. Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood,; She had a father, who just happened to be the governor of munchlinkland. _She makes up words like no tomorrow, confusifying. What type of word is that._

**Father:**

How I hate to go and leave you lonely _Even though I know our daughter will be green. _

**Mother:**

That's alright - it's only just one night _Though I've slept with a bunch of other men. _

**Father:**

But know that you're here, in my heart while I'm out of your sight!

**Padmé as Glinda:**

(spoken) And like every family - they had their secrets

**Lover:**

Have another drink, my dark-eyed beauty

I've got one more night left, here in town

So have another drink of green elixir

And we'll have ourselves a little mixer

Have another swallow, little lady,

And follow me down.

**Mace: **So I'm that random lover they talk about which means..

**Jarik: **If you value your life you'll not finish that sentence.

**Padmé as Glinda:**

(spoken) And of course, from the moment she was born,

she was - well - different

**Midwife:**

**AHHH!!** It's coming!** _What's coming._**

**Father:**

Now?

**Midwife:**

The baby's coming!

**Father:**

And how?

**Midwife and Father**

I see a nose

I see a curl

It's a healthy, perfect,

Lovely, little -

**Father:**

(spoken) Sweet Oz!

**Mother:**

(spoken) What is it? : what's wrong?

**Midwife:**

How can it be?

**Father:**

What does it mean?

**Midwife:**

It's atrocious!

**Father:**

It's obscene!

**Both:**

Like a froggy, ferny cabbage,

the baby is unnaturally

**All: **

Green!!!

**Father:**

(spoken) Take it away... Take it away!!!!

**Padmé as Glinda:**

(spoken) So you see, it couldn't have been easy!

**Munchkins and Padmé as Glinda:**

No one mourns the Wicked!

Now at last, she's dead and gone!

Now at last there's joy throughout the land!

And goodness knows (Goodness knows)

We know what goodness is (OOOOHHHH)

Goodness knows, the Wicked die alone (She died alone)

Woe to those (Woe to those)

Who spurn what goodness is they are shown!

No one mourns the Wicked (Good news)

No one mourns the Wicked (Good news)

No one mourns... the Wicked...

Wicked...

Wicked!!!!!

**Jarik: **Good job guys. That's the opening song and means we only have eighteen more songs to sing. Though technically it's nineteen but they remove a song from the soundtrack which is hard to find the lyrics for so if I do find the lyrics by then we will add that in also.

**Quinlan:** **Eighteen **more songs, but I don't sing until the sixth song!

**Jarik:** Yes, but when you do sing it's in an amazing solo in which you create a giant party and break all the rules. Also has anyone seen the sniveling baby Anakin.

_Anakin walks in with a grin on his face._

**Anakin: **I think you're going to have to give me a better part.

**Jarik: **_Not Convinced_ Really do you now. What is your great plan?

**Anakin: **I talked to Chancellor Palpatine and he said you had to give me a better part or he'd take away the funding for the musical.

**Jarik:** Just a second I have to have a word with said Chancellor. _Walks out of room where sounds are muffled. Everyone hears what sounds like a string of curses and other things. After about four minutes he walks back in closing a cell phone _I just talked with him and he saw my view and said you have to play Boq to learn how to be humble or something like that.

**Anakin: **But.....But....But he and you and now and what did you say to him?

**Jarik:** Yes your butt on stage **NOW** you're in the next song. As for what I said to him that's going to be my little secret.

**OOC: **So yes that is basically the first song. I will try to have the next one up in a few days. Please review.


End file.
